Helping Friends Through Tough Times : What Moms Need

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Today for Mother’s Day, we are not going to give Moms more things to do, because your lives are already busy.  We’re going to talk about what Moms need and how you can help. We want to encourage you!

There are some things all of us can do to help Mom. The Bible tells us to honor our Mothers.

“Honor your father and mother.” Ephesians 6:2a NIV

This verse is in the Bible because God knows it’s vital for our spiritual health and emotional health to honor our parents. Even if your Mom is no longer alive, you can still honor her. Even if you didn’t know your mom or you had a terrible mom, you can still honor the fact that she labored to bring you into this world. We can honor all moms by seeing the importance of what they’re doing and helping them out in what they’re doing.

1.  Mom’s need patience. 

Teaching patience is the whole spectrum of being a mom. Here are four things about patience in the following four verses.

When you think about needing patience remember God understands. You are not alone, Moms. This verse is about how God was treated by the people in the Old Testament, see if you think God might be able to relate.

“Yet though He did all of this for them, they continued to test His patience.”   Psalm 78:56a  NLT

If you feel like your patience is being tested, God understands. None of us are perfect and we irritate each other.


Patience is an expression of love. Impatience doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids, the exact opposite is true. You have a choice to love your kids even when you’re feeling impatient. 

When you’re patient, although you feel impatient, that’s an incredible expression of love.

“Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” Ephesians 4:2 NLT

Love is choosing to be patient even when you’re irritated. Love is making allowance for someone else’s faults. Patience is an expression of love.


Patience is used by God. 

“For when the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow. So let it grow, don’t try to squirm out of your problems. But when your patience is finally in full bloom, then you will be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete.” James 1:3-4 TLB

Patience grows us. Moms are some of the most spiritually mature people on the planet, because they’ve had to be so patient with their children. That patience, the Bible says, enables us to be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete.


God tells us to help each other. When you see someone struggling with patience and stress the Bible tells us to help each other. What can you do for your mom, for your wife, when her patience is being overly stressed?

“Do for others what you would like them to do for you.” Matthew 7:12 NLT 

This verse is a picture of the true nature of love. True love is not reciprocal. We don’t do something because someone did the same for you. We love regardless of what someone else did for you.

 When you see Mom stressed, instead of piling it on or running away, do something to help relieve that stress. That’s what you’d want done for you.

2.  Moms need appreciation

In the Bible you see people being appreciated, because we have a need for this.

“I thank my God every time I remember you.” Philippians 1:3 NIV

“Whenever we pray for you, we always begin by giving thanks to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Colossians 1:3 LB

You can appreciate your mom. Even if your Mom has passed away, you can still think back and remember her best qualities. What if you never knew your mom or you had a very difficult relationship with your mom? Appreciate the fact that she labored to bring you into this world. Appreciate the fact that you weren’t aborted. Appreciate the fact that you are alive. Even the smallest amount of honor that you can give is healthy for your soul.

If you Mom is still a part of your life, tell her thank you. Even a better, say, “I thank God for you.”

3.  Moms need a life.

When every event and sport is pulling at you as a family, parents, you’ve got to learn where to draw the line. Moms need a life.

“It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to His loved ones.”  Psalm 127:2 NLT

That’s the job description of most moms. Knowing that, we need to do everything we can to give our Moms the opportunity to live the life that Jesus says He wants to give. 

“I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” John 10:10 NAS

If we become so rushed and hurried that our lives become filled, then we don’t have time to connect with Jesus and enjoy the abundant life. That becomes what we model for our kids.

Here’s the invitation to us: Everyone of us who knows a mom, do everything you can to help mom be in a place where she can model the abundant life for their kids. That will have an impact.

4.  Moms need wisdom

With all the negative influence in our culture, Moms need wisdom. They need wisdom to know when to hold on and when to let go. They need wisdom to know when to say “yes” and when to say “no.” They need wisdom when it comes to discipline, to know when and how.

God says He will give wisdom. 

“But if any of you need wisdom, you should ask God for it. He is generous and He enjoys giving wisdom to all people. He will give you wisdom.” James 1:5 NCV 

Pray for wisdom. One of the greatest things you can do for moms is pray for them.

“God has hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge in Christ.” Colossians 2:3 GW 

We need wisdom because it’s not easy raising kids. Hang on to God’s wisdom. 

5.  Moms need validation.

Proverbs 31 is the most famous chapter in the Bible about being a mom and being a wife. Take a look at how that chapter ends:

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise in the city gate.”  Proverbs 31:28-31 NIV

Notice the last two words, “city gate.” The city gate was the place of importance when this verse was written. In ancient times, the city gate was not just the doorway into the city, it was where everything important happened. Legal cases were tried there, government decisions were made there and business deals happened there. 

When this verse says, “Let her works praise her in the city gate,” it’s saying at the place of most importance.  For us it would be city hall, the floor of congress. This is reminding us to not let the importance of moms and what they do be some sort of side issue, she is what is really important.

Moms are building people. The Bible tells us that only people are going to last forever. Buildings don’t last forever. Companies don’t last forever. Your bank account certainly won’t last forever. But people last forever. 

When Satan puts a little thought in the back of your mind that makes you think what you are doing isn’t noticed or meaninful, that is a lie.

6.  Moms need communication.

Moms need talk and they need listening. The Bible tells us how to talk to anyone, including our Moms.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths. But only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  Ephesians 4:29 NIV

7.  Moms need rest.

Moms seem to have twin emotions, exhaustion and guilt. Exhaustion because they were doing too much and guilt because they felt like they aren’t doing enough.

“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”  Matthew 11:28 NLT

There is a soul rest that you have to have in order to be a parent. If you’re not familiar with the story of Susanna Wesley from Christian history it’s a good story to be aware of.


Two of Susanna Wesley’s sons were Charles Wesley and John Wesley, founders of the Methodist movement. They changed Europe and then they changed America. They were greatly used of God. They grew up with ten kids in the household. Their mom knew she needed time to be alone with Jesus Christ. She found that time sometimes by finding a room where she could be alone, but with ten kids that was impossible a lot of the time.

So instead, she would take her apron and put it up over her head and the kids would know that meant Mom was now spending time with Jesus. All the kids knew that if you interrupted Mom when she was spending time with Jesus, you would go see Jesus.


8.  Moms need faith

Moms worry that they are worrying needlessly. Moms worry that their daily decisions will affect their kids for the rest of their lives. Moms need faith and Jesus offers faith.

Don’t be troubled. You trust in God, now trust in Me.” John 14:1 NLT

When you recognize that you need faith, don’t try to conjure it up through your own emotional energy. Lean on Me.  That’s what faith is.  It is a leaning on Me. When it feels like there is no where else to turn Jesus tells us to turn to Him. 

“Trust in Him at all times. Pour out your heart to Him, for God is our refuge.” Psalm 62:8 NLT

Moms need faith for the big things.  The most difficult things in life. Moms also need faith for the everyday things. Faith when they are tempted to worry.

Every time you’re tempted to worry, recognize that it’s also an invitation to have faith.

The difference between worry and faith is where it takes you. With worry, when you worry it feels like you’re doing something, but in the end nothing gets done. When you put faith in God, many times at the beginning it doesn’t feel like you’re doing much, but everything will change because you’re putting faith in a God who can do everything.


Moms need faith, patience, appreciation, a life, wisdom, validation, communication, rest and faith. That’s a lot!

If we sum all this up in one word it would be repent.

Your mother needs you to repent! 

For a lot of us the word “repent” has become an angry word. Some people use it that way. Repent is one of the most beautiful, positive words in the Bible.

It just means to turn around, head in a different direction. It means God gives you a second chance and that God is giving you the opportunity for a new life. Things can be different.

So repent and change your heart and mind. It may be something as small as saying thank you for a meal when you haven’t done it for a long time. It might be something as radical as giving your life in faith to Jesus Christ, because of a mom who never stopped praying for you.


Check Back

Check back on your discussion from last week. What actions do you remember from your discussion about being a helpful  friend?

Listen to the sermon: online, iTunes podcast or Google Play Music

Hear the Word

Whether or not you are a mother, chances are pretty good that you had one. You may have had a good relationship with her or a bad one, or you may have never known her—but God still wants you to honor your mother. In Ephesians 6:2–3, Paul quotes Exodus 12:20 and says, “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Clearly, obeying this directive is in our own best interest.

Application

1.  Moms Need Patience

What does Psalm 78:56a say the Israelites persisted in doing to God?

  • What is it about children that they test the patience of their parents? Is this part of their role?

2. Moms Need Appreciation

3. Moms Need a Life

Psalm 127:2 gives us what reassurance when we are tempted to work around the clock?

  • What does the next verse (verse 3) say about children?
  • What is a practical thing you can do to help a mother have some time for herself?

4. Moms Need Wisdom

5. Moms Need Validation

How do the children mentioned in Proverbs 31:28–31 validate their mother?

  • Parents are responsible for building people. How can we validate the importance of that role?

6. Moms Need Communication

7. Moms Need Rest

Where does Jesus say we can find rest? See Matthew 11:28.

  • In our society, which encourages over-involvement in activities, how can we cope with the twin emotions that many parents feel—exhaustion because they are doing so much and guilt that they aren’t doing enough

8. Moms Need Faith

The sum total of these eight findings leads us to one conclusion: what your mom needs most is the same thing your heavenly Father desires most—and that is for you to repent. That’s not a harsh or angry word, but a loving word. To repent means we need to think differently about God, about life, and about people. To repent is to make a u-turn, change your mind, turn around and walk the other way.

Where do you need to turn your life around? Of whom do you need to think differently? People who have witnessed great transformation will tell you that behavior comes before attitude. So determine to do something this week that honors your mother or another who has played a parental role in your life. Let the group know what you have in mind and plan to share the outcome at your next session. Ask God to reveal to you, in time, how this action has changed your life.

 

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